A tough relationships question this week. Let’s dive straight in
She's started a new job (at 23 years old it's her first job)and spends a lot of time with colleagues and after work functions. I email her cell every day, but get only occasional replies. We've seen each other once in the last month. And yet we're still together and the prospect of parting is too much to think about.
Am I being impatient, needy, and insecure? I need more loving than I'm getting, so the impending anniversary is kind of messing with my mind a little.
I'd appreciate hearing someone else's perspective on this. God Bless you & have a lovely day.
This breaking up and getting back together thing concerns me though, and might have something to do with it all. Sounds like something hasn't been going right in your relationship. Perhaps something neither one of you is even aware of. You might want to get some councling on this.
But you should sit down with her and talk to her about the lack of attention she's giving you. I wouldn't expect her to e-mail you back every day on her cell, and she may feel smothered by too much attention. It may be that you aren't giving her enough space, and she's withdrawn. It may also be that she enjoys your e-mails, even if she doesn't respond all the time. Talk with her about how she feels about it all, and ask her if you could improve in any area.
Give it some time and be patient, but she should do her best on this to let you know that she cares about you, and that even with the new job, she still loves you and more than intends to make time for you. This may not happen instantly, so don't be too pushy, but do be plainspoken and truthful. But, if she refuses to at least care about your feelings on this, and that not caring continues, you may want to look into finding a new girlfriend.
man i wish i could help u but i have not been down that road yet sry
Well you have provided with a lot of info but you didnt tell whether you both live together at a same place or you both are away from one another. Well i assume you live in different places. As you told she has started a job for the first time, then you must know with your personal experience that you first job requires lot more attention and input from you as it builds a goodwill and you learn things and stuff and get the experience. May be her job description requires more input. so give her some space and help her in settling the things down. Every relation passes through ups and downs, so dont be so touchy. I wish you enjoy a nice relation, dont feel neglected or ignored!
A very delicate matter for you. Is it so for her? Obviously you love her very much. Its time you sat her down and asked her to be honest about whether or not she is interested in continuing this relationship. It is possible that her first job has given her so much exposure and new found attention, that she is reveling in her new haven. I would meet my man every single day that we courted (6 years). And when we were apart in different cities, we cheated on the world to meet each other at least twice a month. Discuss the matter with her gently and "listen to every word she says" - your answer may lie there. and oh.. check out the body language - it always reveals the truth. Good luck to you and hope she showers you with lots of love.
It's not enough. You must ask her what she wants really. From what I understand, until now you were good enough, now when she have a job and new friends, forget about you. It's not normal to keep somebody on a short leash, even if you're married, to be jealous is not good, but the four years spent together gives you some rights, meaning that if for you she is the most important person in your life, you shouldn't accept less from her. This is my believe: everything or better nothing. If you are or (were) for her only a source of income and now you fell on the second place on her list of priorities you shouldn't accept this. Brake away, otherwise you loose more precious time with somebody who don't deserve it.