A tough love question this week. Let’s dive straight in
Question: Okay, this may be simple to answer or not.
For the last 5 years, I think about this one person, every day, almost every 5 minutes. I met them 5 years ago, saw them most of the time for 2 and then didn't for 3 because I moved away from home. The thing is, I've never stopped thinking about them every day. This person really helped me out so much when I was in a rut, more than anyone I've ever met. I only wish to see this person's face once more and it eats away inside of me every day. I care very much for this person, because they helped me so much in my worst times, but I've never told anyone nor this person, about how I feel. Maybe I'm just being pathetic but I think it would better for the person if I never revealed my feelings, as it might alter everything - and not in a good way. Basically, I'm just curious as to whether this is love or something else? And if so, what do I do?
I partly agree with musicalj2. But why is just so impossible to let go of the other person? I try to tell myself to stop thinking about them, but it just doesn't work. I guess I'm alone in this and I may never come to the right conclusion during my lifetime…
Answer: It's easy to love someone who helps us through a tough time and is gentle with our feelings. It's also very hard to do less than idealise them for doing so. You've been away from them for three years, which is more than the time you were with them, so if you are keeping in contact with them in any other way - by e-mail, for instance, it might be worth a shot to tell them how you feel. However, this won't work if the person is already attached to someone else; you may find yourself dropped faster than a hot potato, which might alter things for you in the bad way you mention.
If you are ~not~ in regular contact, perhaps it might be best to close that particular book and move on.
